Contemplations

Snapshots from my life

I write down my thoughts on paper & pencil and frequently share these in my Newsletters or Instagram posts. Writing has been a great solace for me. The last few years have been a whirlwind: leaving my home, family and community in Washington DC. I drove across the country and explored, camped, rock-climbed until finally settling in my new home in Los Angeles. I began teaching yoga in new surroundings, discovered the amazing Pacific surf and rebuilt my life and community in Venice Beach.

I grew up visiting my family in Mexico every year and fell in love with this vibrant, rich city as a child. I had always dreamed of living here. At the start of the pandemic, I began splitting my time between Mexico and Los Angeles. It’s allowed me begin connecting more with my Mexican roots, family & culture. I’ve been traveling ever since—here are some of my thoughts and dispatches from my life. If you would like to be added to my Newsletters to get all my writings and to connect— just EMAIL me through this link.

Life in Mexico. Puerto Escondido, 13 August 2021

Over the past eighteen months or so I’ve been able to spend several months in Mexico, the majority with my family and at a beach in Puerto Escondido. I’ve fallen in love with the people, the culture, the slower pace of life, and the opportunity and time to connect more closely with my roots.

The more time I spent here, I developed a desire to create community, to teach yoga in person, and plan for a retreat in Mexico. I didn’t have any real plan, but just stayed open for opportunity and connection. During the pandemic year, I decided to say yes to any opportunity that presented itself, no matter how little significance it seemed at the time.

What I’ve learned through this is how life starts to open up when we let go of our agenda. It’s not always immediate, but connections and relationships unfold in ways we couldn’t foresee. Now I walk through Puerto Escondido with my pup, talk to surfer friends on the beach, grab my morning coffee at my favorite cafe (sometimes even working there) and sit with the owner and locals.

Then, on my last trip, this magical oasis called Barbarenas just dropped in front of me. I was welcomed here like a friend and it started to feel like home in Puerto Escondido. I never dreamed I’d be hosting a Retreat here. Now I am; I am so excited! It’s going to be a wonderful adventure for the start of 2022 and I would very much like you to experience the natural beauty, relaxing vibe and welcoming community here at Barbarenas. I am so excited to share this special place with you next year.

Being Uncomfortable eventually equals Comfort. Malibu, 15 July 2021

A thought that seems to float around in my mind is “become comfortable being uncomfortable.”

 Life is a series of uncomfortable situations and experiences. We coast for a little while and are soon faced with something new, different or unexpected. Maybe it’s a social situation, an activity, work, relationship, death, a big move, and the like.

In surfing, in yoga these are lessons that I feel constantly. I physically feel the discomfort and even dread at times. When a big wave is coming through, when I get slammed down or when I just feel awkward or self conscious. In yoga, my body feels slow, stiff and unresponsive and it’s disappointed when it’s not smooth and connected.

This morning I surfed at my favorite spot in Malibu, near the Pier. It’s the most iconic California surf spot. But I felt off, sloppy. I couldn’t move fast enough.
 I was intimidated by other surfers.
 I missed waves or got hammered by them.

It was near perfect in Malibu.

The glassy water.
 Few people.
True quiet.
 Surrounded by mountains. And yet, I couldn’t escape this unsettling feeling inside of me. I stayed in the ocean, lowered my expectations, went slower and became comfortable with just being in the water. Grateful for the ocean.
 Grateful for the quiet.
 Grateful for natural beauty.

I paddled around for a couple of hours, caught some decent waves, let the water rush over me. And decided it’s ok to fall, to fail, to be unsettled, to look stupid. I came for myself and no one else. The point is:

Do new things. 
Do uncomfortable things
. Do things you aren’t good at.

 Keep learning. Keep growing. Keep expanding…

It takes some time to shift into the mentality and our minds and body resist a little.  But when you shift, it's magic. The stress and anxiety lift when you realize you don't have to do so much, you can just be here. 

Without a doubt, I know how fortunate I am to live my life in this way. 

It's nothing I ever imagined for myself. The losses I've experienced the past 2 years have nearly broken me, but also pushed me to reach for more in life.

Experiencing great loss has given me deep gratitude and even deeper hunger for life and adventure. I've been the recipient of so much love and generosity at a time when my soul felt crushed. 

At Home in Venice Beach. 17 May 2021

It's been nearly 3 months of traveling in Mexico. I've experienced true beauty, loneliness, excitement, freedom, sadness and pure joy. Traveling solo forces you to approach the world differently. Being in a completely different environment with new people, a new town, different house, foreign language, different traditions--it opens your mind to a greater world when we've been stuck in your small, familiar and comfortable places.

The most impactful lesson I've learned the past few months: How am I distracting myself; Where do I place my value; What is actually important; What is taking my energy?

Human connection is essential. 

And, paradoxically, being lonely is fine. Experiencing life as it comes in the present and slowing down.

I'm reminded that the smallest act of kindness can change someone's world, truly. It has for me.